


Double Trouble (blood, blood, gallons of the stuff)

by kjm126316



Series: shuffle the deck a little to the left, this time [3]
Category: Misfits (TV 2009), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Im not even joking literally i wrote this instead of sleeping that is the honest to god truth, Not Beta Read, Seriously I wrote this in less than 20 minutes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:55:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26353789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjm126316/pseuds/kjm126316
Summary: Wherein Klaus scratches open a mosquito bite(title taken from 'blood- end credits' by mcr)
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves and Alisha Daniels
Series: shuffle the deck a little to the left, this time [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1688623
Kudos: 30





	Double Trouble (blood, blood, gallons of the stuff)

**Author's Note:**

> tw: blood. and exceptionally foul language. most of it from me.  
> yes this happened to me yes i'm fucking salty about it yes i wrote this entire trainwreck in less than 20 minutes with no fucking beta reading my fucking BOOT WAS NEARLY FUCKING RUINED-

_ "God fucking damn this stupid piece of shit leg!" _

While not the most usual catchphrases to make an entry with, it spoke volumes that Alisha wasn't at all surprised by it, though that may have had something to do with who was saying it.

She leaned sideways out the door and called; "You alright?"

There was a beat of silence, then Klaus poked his head out from behind the wall; "Alisha?" He asked, voice thick with confusion. "What the hell are you doing here so late?"

The brunette shrugged; "I left my keys," she explained, frowning as she considered her companion. "Are you… alright?"

Klaus sighed heavily; "I got bit by a mosquito."

Alisha blinked. That… that wasn't what she was expecting  _ at all.  _

"And then I scratched it open, because that's what you do to get them to stop itching-"

_ What the fuck no why why is that a thing you do what the  _ fuck-

"Except then I forgot about it and its resulting scab and accidentally scratched it open again, and now there's blood everywhere!"

Klaus came out from behind the wall and stuck his leg out, overtly displaying the rivulets of blood- both dried and wet- running down and making zig-zag patterns all the way to his ankle.

Alisha's eyes went wide; "What did you  _ do?" _

"I didn't 'do' anything!" Klaus hissed, gesturing wildly like he did when he had too many emotions that needed  _ out out out-  _ "It just decided it wanted to  _ bleed!" _

"Uh, no shit?" Alisha shook her head. "Did you get any on the floor?"

Klaus scoffed; "Fuck the floor!" He snarled with surprising venom. "This shit-" he pointed to the blood, which was now making a small puddle underneath his bare foot. "-Ruined my goddamn boot!  _ And  _ my sock! And it was a good fucking sock, too…"

Alisha blinked owlishly at this utter  _ disaster  _ of a human being for a moment, then sighed heavily and said; "Come on, let's go wash it off and we'll see if we can rescue your boot."

_ "And _ my sock," Klaus reminded her emphatically, to which she wrinkled her nose.

"Ew, no, fuck that. Fix your own crusty-ass sock."

"Alisha I am  _ wounded-"  _

"Shut up about it or I'll leave you to Nathan." They rounded a corner, and Alisha absently noted the trail of blood Klaus was leaving behind. Eh, some other poor blighter could take care of it- though, knowing their luck, that 'poor blighter' would be  _ them-  _ "Where is Nathan, anyways? Doesn't he have a Klaus-dar for when you're in distress?"

The brunet fixed her with a flat look; "Funny," he deadpanned, then shook his head. "He's off doing something with Kelly."

Alisha raised her eyebrows; "They going off together?"

Klaus snorted; "Fuck only knows, at this point," he said, then picked up the pace. "Come on- my boot is in danger is in danger of being permanently bloodied if we don't light a fire under it. Chop chop!"

**Author's Note:**

> this is entirely canon don't you dare try to pretend it isn't  
> i am. very tired. when i wake up in the morning i will regret posting this, but right now i'm just- my boot. i love those boots. i am very hurt. goodnight.


End file.
